I dreamt I was on a tour of an unnamed city that resembled Vancouver, a city I like very much. The key aspects of the dream placed me often with others in a glass 3 story elevator, with one set of doors that opened and closed as the elevator drove around the city, each site described by a recorded voice.
But late in the dream, I was alone in the elevator when the doors began sticking closed. At one point they opened and I was dusty from a nearby construction site and was able to wash myself off with a hose without removing my clothing nor getting wet.
When I finished, a 20 ish young man, resembling the actor Sal Mineo from the 1955 movie, "Rebel Without a Cause" got on the elevator, at first self-confident of himself to the point of arrogance, but I saw him as effeminate and acting out. When the elevator doors stuck again and would not open a truck came to pick the elevator up to take it to a maintenance center for repairs with us still inside. Meanwhile, the recorded voice continued to tell us we were free to come and go, although we were not, and it irritated me and made me a little nervous but it unnerved him.
In his panic, he suddenly wrapped his arms around my upper left arm and hung on. Thinking of this as a sexual advance, I immediately thrust his arms off me in disgust. But as I began to awake, but still in a sleep state, I saw him as a scared young man crying out for help, and felt I should have calmed him down as a father would his frightened son.
Once fully awake, I wondered what brought such a dream. Was it recently having watched "The Announcement," a new ESPN piece about Magic Johnson in 1991 telling the world he was HIV positive for AIDS? But much more important, did I subconsciously reject this young man for being gay, something for most of my life society claimed to be repulsive. But awake I don't judge people for being gay nor reject them. Perhaps it was the overt self-confidence he at first exuded but if so, I should have been able to set that aside. In any case, I regretted not being more protective of him, the strong father figure he needed, when he needed it.
Dick
1 comment:
Maybe it's also being a father figure to the scared boy inside you? You could ask Sal Mineo why he came into your dream and if he has any wisdom for you.
When you talk about masculine and feminine, you're in Jungian territory, and the transformation of the self, how much to control, how much to let go, feeding stereotypes, and finding one's true voice, etc.
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