"To Hug, Or Not To Hug, That Is The Question"

Yesterday at the gym, I did as I always do, I hugged some of the ladies and later at the restaurant, I hugged some of the guys. For I am a hugger and a hand shaker and a man who offers words of support to many of those I meet.

But at the gym, a 40 ish female gym trainer took exception, saying it is "unprofessional" for the staff to hug the members and making it clear by her body language, facial expression and words that my hugging anyone made her uncomfortable. She said this in the presence of a 25 ish female employee I often hug and who as I recall, was just about to hug me.

With her comment, I stepped back, smiled and acknowledged what she had said. I told her I used to be cool, reserved and very formal, but in recent years, many people have made it clear they like my enthusiastic response to them. She again made it clear it was "unprofessional" and with a smile, I told her I would respect her wishes.

Shortly afterward, I took her aside and apologized for having offended her. She said she was not offended. A while later, when I was about to leave the gym, I approached the 25 ish woman with a big smile, and she smiled and started to put her hands on me for a hug, then pulled back, explaining the management is trying to discourage that sort of closeness with the members.

I told her I was sorry if I had offended her and she insisted I had not and we parted company amicably.

In recent years I've observed that most people welcome the closeness with others and some of them give big bear hugs in response. Assuming a hug is friendly and non-sexual as mine are, and accompanied by enthusiasm and/or warm words of support, along with calling that person by name, it seems to make a big hit and my popularity gage is high from what people tell me.

I will be more sensitive and in many cases ask before I hug. But I will not stop enthusiastically expressing my love and caring for people and my joy for their well-being. The world already has too many cold-hearted people and it needs all the love, compassion and happiness from humanity it can find.

Dick
The title of this Journal piece was taken from Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in which Hamlet states: "To be, or not to be, that is the question:" as he begins a soliloquy of serious thought.