"Culture Clash 2016 / Ikaika's Introduction to Asia"

This insightful and humorous piece was written by Anne's and my son Kyle, describing his family's vacation in China, a trip that will include South Korea and Japan as well:

Dear Family,

Last Monday, the fam and I embarked on our summer vacation.  As usual, the party planner was your humble storyteller who values his ADD as an asset.  To boot, while I thoroughly enjoyed (minus being sentenced to close quarters with the two individuals who by being birthed, robbed me of being a happy only child) the Kazan Fam Vacays of the 80's and 90's, the style of staying in one country / relatively small area and eating at McDonald's at least 1x per day are not the script today. It should be noted that periodic or daily visits to Starbucks do not count!  

Why August (or the hottest month in Asia or Europe) instead of June?  Because Palos Verdes HS basketball has summer ball in June and July which leaves us the month in which we are least likely to need to pack a jacket.

As many on this e-mail have had the distinct pleasure of traveling on a vacation which I organized, you'll be happy to hear that this trip doesn't waste any time and is planned as an Asia highlight trip.   We will visit China, Korea and Japan in 16 days!  Go, go, go..

Keoni very much wanted to visit the Great Wall and see another of his Heinz 57 background countries.  Ikaika has been telling anyone who asked for months that we were going to Beijing.  Diane wanted to see Japan and I have never been to Korea so all the bases shall be touched...

The setting now complete: We took off from LAX on Monday and landed Tuesday into smoggy and heatwave laden Beijing.  Diane and I visited the capital of China about 12 years ago when we were told that there were "3 decent hotels" in which to stay.  As a loyal Starwood Platinum member, we were booked on points into two rooms at the W Hotel.  This like many others around Beijing were built since our last visit.  The city has transformed itself and the difference in both appearance and accommodation to western tourists is striking.

Diane being the traditionalist is NOT a fan of any W around the world while Keoni who enjoys modern art and all things "lit," is always happy with this choice.  This crack team quickly logs into Wifi on all devices, has plug adapters at the ready and adjusts the A/C in celsius.  Plus my longtime assistant (the wife who gets to go home at night) Sharon has convinced every hotel that I am the most important Starwood guest on the planet so we are always met by the F&B manager to confirm the ingredients for my green blends. 

On Wednesday morning, we are met by an extremely youthful guide (born 1968) named Mark along with a van driven by Mr. Lee.  Our first stop is Tienemen Square and the Forbidden City.  12 years ago, it was cold winter during the SARS outbreak and besides the weather, the biggest difference was that we were now standing in a sea of black hair.  Like the sea, the people under the waves of hair can bump you, push you and knock you off balance and did so with the indifference of the Pacific.  Our relaxed California attitude would not work here as we were in New York on steriods.  Too many people, not enough space but unlike NYC, if they were telling me to go F myself, I didn't understand.  When I tried to enter the scrum to buy some bottled water, I found myself literally not getting any closer to the vendors and Mark jumped in, took my money and bought the water.  As everyone on this e-mail has known me for years, you are likely surprised by my demeanor in what you would mistakenly think was my Waterloo.  From that moment on, I became a Roman in Rome or more accurately, a gleeful, illiterate mosher in mosh pit who took pride in every performance.

Interestingly, when not battling me for space in lines, good vantage points to see different sites and getting a step ahead of me when headed for a doorway or other narrowing path, the Chinese were fascinated with Ikaika.  Many people either touched his hair, took photos with him or posed their children next to him for photos.  I took it as a positive giving that these are my adversaries for space while Diane wasn't too keen on people touching her baby or snapping photos without permission.  I'm happy to report no international incidents and Ikaika mostly enjoyed the attention.

Mark was a college student in 1989 like Diane and me and shared his opinions openly about what happened when the students rose up against the government in that spot those many years ago.  He also told stories of being a student in China at that time along with thoughts of Mao, Deng Xiaopeng, the Cultural Revolution, etc...  We enjoyed our tour thoroughly in no small part thanks to Mark who is an excellent guide.

A crazy fun bicycle rickshaw ride in the backstreets of Beijing to finish the afternoon and we were back to the friendly AC of the hotel.

Diane LOVES Peking Duck.  Her having this duck in the city formerly known as Peking is an unspoken but fully understood goal which must be checked off the list.  While generally a mellow soul, I know all too well that if she doesn't collect her (sometimes hidden like Pokemon Go's) bounties on the trip, I'll hear about it until (as I am not dead yet, I can't say until the end of my days but)...

The first night we enjoyed dinner in the hotel.  The 2nd night, we had reservations at the best Peking Duck place (or the one which gives our Concierge the best kick back) in the city.  After the tour, we went back to the hotel for a quick hour nap which drained all of us of remaining energy.  Diane said, "why don't we just eat at the hotel?"  As nobody had the courage to suggest this blasphemy, we were happy to hear it and we had room service.

The next day Mark and Mr. Lee picked us up and off to a section of the Great Wall we went. This was a Keoni site and up the ski lift we went which took us up to gate #6.  To the right would be sections with gates that led to #1.  To the left we could go to gate 15 which had a tram down to the parking lot and on to the end which is gate #25 if one so chose. Mark said that getting to 25 was quite the hike.

After promising Ikaika who wanted to stay with Noni and Daddy that I would ride the Toboggan (yes a toboggan at gate #6) down with him if I could walk only with Keoni, the family and Mark stayed together for a few gates and then K-Man and I were off to 25.  Hot, humid and smoggy (I'm not sure which order fits best but Hell certainly serves that soup) and couple that with some good ups and getting to #15 felt like an accomplishment.  We hydrated and turned left to #25 and we could see the top of the mountain (from #6 it was too smoggy to see) and it was daunting with a straight vertical rising a very long way up the hill.

One foot in front of the other and a bath in my own sweat for the next hour or so and we were high up the mountain.  It was wonderful for me to spend some one on one time panting next to my oldest son who is flirting with adulthood.  As we are both wired with the same competitive gene that once the goal is proclaimed, no matter how sensical it would be to avoid heatstroke or simply enjoy a portion of the walk, we must go to the end.  When we made it (note: we had to climb over the side of one of the gate walls to continue to the last couple of gates), it was joyous except we knew we had 21 gates to revisit and there were extreme downhills and some ups on the way back.  When we arrived back, we were stunned to hear Mark tell us that we were his first clients in his 20+ years as a guide to walk from 6 to 25 and all the way back to 6. 

The toboggan down with Ikaika was a blast even if I feigned an ignorant look when we blasted by different monitors along the way who were waving their arms around wildly (I could only guess what they were trying to communicate since my eyes were watering from the wind in my face).  After Diane arrived down the hill about 5 minutes later and we were able to clear our noses from the extreme smell of brake from her sled, we departed.  To her credit, she wasn't fired up to get to the bottom of the hill on this contraption which had no restraining devices or safety equipment (I'm not including the Chinese guys stationed along the way who wave their arms at you) and still completed the task.

Given the long climb, we were tight on time to get to the Emperor's summer palace.  Mark suggested Burger King in the van which filled all while I sucked down my green drink.  The palace was fantastic and the timing of the end of the day was great because it was cooler and the crowds were heading to the exit as we arrived.

Problem:  This was our last night in Peking and we did not yet go out for duck.  Mark called a couple of favorites and all had long waits but he was able to get a very popular place to pull a number for us while we drove over.  The traffic in Beijing in the afternoon is extreme and while wading along, both Keoni and Ikaika passed out.  My lungs were still in the midst of recovering from the smog beatdown they had gotten over several hours when Diane pondered, "perhaps we should just skip and go back to the hotel?"  I was thinking that a friend told me about a new great duck place in Century City and as I was about to yell "Hell to the Yes Diane," the words that came out were "whatever you want to do is fine with me."

Suffice to say, none of the three males on the trip had the courage to do anything else but to rally.  An hour later as Diane enjoyed her duck by saying "this is amazing," we knew that this little Pokemon Duck was importantly obtained.

The next day we were back at the airport and off to Xian.  This city which many people outside of China haven't heard of was the capital for over 1,000 years (more than Nanking and Beijing - the other two capital cities) and is the home of the Terricota Warriors.  As the van drove us the hour from the airport to the Westin, we were amazed at the massive transformation.  Tall apartment building after tall apartment building had either been recently constructed or were in various stages of construction.

When we arrived at our hotel, Diane and I immediately noted that we were in close proximity to a multi-story pagoda building which houses a library of writing from a Buddhist monk who had traveled to India and brought Buddhism to China.  This was the first place we visited 12 years ago and it was now surrounded by a large park and shopping/entertainment complex which included a monorail and across from our hotel, Starbucks.

As I write this, I'm still trying to come to grips with the many thousands of condos there are to be sold and how many jobs must be paying decent wages to the buyers.  I don't have the demographic information to call bubble but there is a fortune of money being funneled into the construction industry and given that the banks are controlled by the Chinese government, perhaps there won't be a cyclical or demographic issue.

Diane and I were given a lovely corner suite which faced right on to the large square around the pagoda building.  Other than the loud drum playing across the street, it was fun.

The next day we were met by our guide Ping and our driver Mr. Wong.  We toured the pagoda and then drove the hour out to the countryside where in the early 1970's some farmers digging a well, accidentally brought up a piece of a terracotta warrior.  This turned out to be quite a discovery as the first emperor to fully unite (or conquer) China had enlisted approximately 700,000 workers/slaves to build his tombs over a 21 square mile area so that his afterlife would be wonderful.  As part of this, approximately 8,000 terracotta warriors were made and buried in at least 3 underground pits.

As he died in 210 BC, these have been around for quite some time.  Even though this was Diane's and my 2nd visit, we found it to be a great treat to share with Keoni and Ikaika.  

We then went to the old walled city (the Chinese are big wall builders) where we said goodbye to Ping.  She was born in 1964 and is a wonderful guide.  Her father was in the Red Army for 30 years and fought in Korea and Vietnam (even though she said they weren't supposed to be there).

We then walked one of their night markets (a walk street with food and merchants) which was packed with people and fill your senses with sights, smells and sounds.  This was as interesting as walking Las Ramblas in Barcelona, Time Square in New York or along Copacabana Beach in Rio.

We were scheduled to eat at a famous dumpling place but as Ikaika passed out, Keoni and I were worn from carrying some wares bought in the Night Market (fun negotiations where one merchant threw his calculator - I bought the same things for 1/3 of what I offered about 30 minutes later) so we opted for food in the air conditioned hotel room.

I wrote this on the plane from Xian to Seoul and am finishing in the van driving us to the Westin...

Sorry for the length and I'm hoping to send another from Japan...

Best,

Kyle