Dear Reader: Finding joy and laughter are an essential part of my life so regularly I take a bad news story and write some humor into it. The following two pieces are typical examples. In both cases, I shared them with Yanin Ontiveros, who works with my son Kyle:
Dear Yanin, 8-19-20
Yesterday, the president pardoned Susan B. Anthony from her 1872 conviction for voting in an election, for it was illegal for women to vote. The judge in 1872 also fined her $100, which she refused to pay, and the president apparently not being aware of this, did not pardon her from.
Curious what her response would be, today I held a séance. “I’ve been pardoned!!” She screamed. “What idiot would do that! It defeats the whole purpose of what I did. I gained far greater visibility from that conviction and used that visibility to reach a larger audience in speaking for women’s rights!”
“Oh oh,” I thought to myself. “How do I break the rest of the bad news to her?“
I summoned my courage and said, “It gets worse. With penalties and interest, you now owe $2 million.” “What!!!” She shouted. “Let that idiotic president pay it.” “I would,“ I replied, “but I don’t think he has the money. He’ll probably claim Mexico will pay it.”
“Huh?” she answered. “Don’t ask,“ I replied.
Dear Reader: As a presidential candidate in 2016, and as president, he has repeatedly and unilaterally claimed Mexico would pay for his wall between Mexico and the U.S. Despite his claims, Mexico has paid nothing!
Good morning Yanin, 8-18-20
My take away from this story is that it it makes sense to cheat but don’t get caught. If I’ve learned anything from The White House, it is deny, deny, deny. This morning I think I’ll take an illegal substance and then see if I can break every record in every sport. Who could possibly be suspicious? 😁
Con Carino - Dick
Dear Reader, I'm 75-years-of-age
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