Kyle, Diane, Keoni And Ikaika Arrive In Kiev

As the Kazan family is originally from the Kiev area, this is a back-to-the-future moment, as Kyle and Diane strive to get a passport for infant Ikaika, and get him the best possible care as well, as you will see from the attachment. Even those Kyle is sick and keeping his distance from everyone, he still writes with his usual sense of humor. (Please note: Kyle attached several wonderful pictures with this text but I was unable to download them).

Dear Family,

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’m sorry if I’ve given you reason for concern.  All of us are well!

After bringing home Ikaika (by home, I mean our apartment on Pushkinskaya) on Monday, Oleg brought the lawyer over.  For background, Oleg is the translator and is our bridge to almost everything in the Ukraine, from the surrogacy office to the medical clinic to the hospital to our apartment and to the entire process.  After meeting him in October 2011, I would find myself somewhere between his “no problem” and that is “not possible.”  Much of what I asked for should our surrogate become pregnant that was no problem became impossible once the pregnancy was on.

I confess to being difficult to corral, especially when I feel like I’m being placated.

Oleg told us that we would need to be in Kharkiv for a minimum of 3 weeks before going to Kiev and that we were lucky to have such a talented attorney in Surgei who could make it 3 weeks during the holidays (New Year’s to their Christmas on Jan 7^th).  I know that Kiev could be a 2 week+ process with the US embassy period.

After speaking with the US Embassy and finding out exactly what they need from Kharkiv, we were able to get all of the documents finished by Saturday morning. Between Monday and Saturday, we were all a bit under the weather with me, your eyes on the ground being hampered the worst.  The older gray haired, squatty Russian pediatrician visited us on Monday eveningand she said in wonderfully accented broken English “your son need no DNA, he look just like papa.”  The doctor also said, “baby fine” but papa sick.  She had a nurse pick up some medicine and deliver it to me within an hour which immediately made me realize that while having a doctor brother has some perks and brings many moments of levity, this is living!

I stayed away from Ikaika and didn’t want Diane and Keoni to catch what I had because of lack of sleep so I arranged with Oleg for a night nurse to come.  I had to pay double the day rate which came to about $6 per hour.  As I didn’t want to take the baby out in the cold, I hired a day nurse which was a “miracle” according to Oleg.  And then I became one of those people who has a constant nanny 24 hours per day.  I became what I detested, a parent by convenience.  While getting a newborn sick would be a disaster and staying away from him was my priority, I liked that we were able to come and go as we pleased.  I don’t blame you for hating me but why must you hate Diane and Keoni who also enjoyed some time away?  You scoundrel!

For those of you who remember my 2 bouts of giving my everything to a Ukranian plastic cup in Kyle I, just like in Rocky II, Kyle II was more of the same in the identical ring only the ending wasn’t any different.  I shant bore you with the gory details of my personal struggles.  Suffice to say, the Kazan team is fully recharged for another surrogacy operation if General Diane declares it to be done.

Much of the week was my dragging the team down with long naps then reading at night (I’ve read 2 books cover to cover) and then more sleeping.  My female Dr. Shivago revisited on Friday night and said that I was “better” but when she listed to my chest and back she said that I have a “heart problem.”  Amazing that without all of the modern conveniences, this simple physician noted my dextracardia (heart normal but on the other side of the chest than everyone reading this).  She said that I would be all better in 2 days but to stay away from the baby until then (I still haven’t cradled him) and Diane and Keoni are good. After giving all four of us check-ups, we paid her $50 for the house call and thanked her.  THAT IS HOW YOU FIX A MEDICAL SYSTEM COMRADES!

We decided that we were going to cut our three week Kharkiv vacation short and leave in just a week.  I made an appointment with the US Embassy for Monday December 31^st, rented an apartment on-line and asked Oleg if we could hire one of the nurses to come with us to Kiev.  I had already floated the idea to one of the nurses that Oleg provided and she was very interested.  His reply was that it would not be possible because they all wanted to be with their families during the holidays.  And why didn’t we just stay in Kharkiv since we didn’t know anyone in Kiev???

By now, you get the drift of the Oleg vs Kyle battles (it should be noted that I offered to compensate him extra for less time in Kharkiv figuring he didn’t want to lose out on his New York way of life – getting his palm greased at every turn which I frankly didn’t mind as long as we both got what we were after).  He refused and scoffed at my offer.

The take-away is that the trains to Kiev were all booked (I saw this for myself at the train station and we are travelling from the 2^ndlargest city in the country to the largest just prior to the biggest holiday week of the year – thanks for the curveball timing Ikaika, Dad appreciates tough pitches) and Oleg booked 2 cars to drive us, our stuff and the last day nurse who came by (I hired for $150 per day – without consulting my pal).  Before you say poor Oleg, please know that I needed those cars to take us (I trust and like Oleg’s drivers) and he wouldn’t budge from the price of each car being 5x the per day rate each.  That said, it was a 7 hour drive each way for them and the cargo they carried is priceless so Oleg won and so did I.

I rode with Misha and most of our luggage while Keoni, Diane, Ikaika and Natasha rode with Sasha (who had a not so concealed pistol on his hip).  Sasha had driven us around on our first trip to Kharkiv so it was like an old friend while Misha was our driver most of the time during this visit.  Keoni, Diane and I got time to live like Kharkivites or Kharkivinians depending on your taste.  During the few hours per day that we were up and out, we shopped in the stores, walked the streets, rode the subways and basically got a feel of living in a post Soviet country (21 years after the fall of the USSR).  I heard many stories of why many people liked life and financial security in the USSR better than today which gave me a cold chill.  As a devout capitalist, I cringe when I see the income inequality and crushing of the middle class going on in my own country as this is the historical recipe for the masses rising up for a redistribution of wealth.  Scary and I hope my country gets itself together so that the American Dream is within reach of all rungs or else we could head towards a system that runs contrary to the human spirit (MY OPINION OF COURSE BUT I INVITE ALL OF YOU TO VISIT UKRAINE AND CUBA TO SEE HOW CRUSHING COMMUNISM IS/WAS FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS MORE).

We are now in Kiev in a lovely 2 bedroom apartment on the main thoroughfare of the city, Khreschatyk.  We are in building 8b on the 6^th and top floor.

Issues we face: The US Embassy may require a DNA test (they told me that it is required without exception – I guess Oleg’s sister works here) with Fed Ex’ing to the US and back before they agree to issue a passport.  Without the holidays, it is a 4 day one way trip.  When it absolutely, positively has to be there in 4 days, send from the Ukraine!  As a precaution, I ordered a kit from a company in Illinois and it arrived at the Embassy today (that saves an additional potential 4 days).  I fancy myself somewhat adept at navigating life’s tricky travails and will certainly do my best on this one.  That said, we will have a good time here no matter how long we are here. 

Also, while the non-poetic loud Russians come across as abrasive (there is nothing like hearing people speak Russian to each other in their seemingly argumentative way as it gently rolls off their throats), they are completely the opposite with babies.  The nurses are never more than 3 feet from Ikaika and he now has mastered how to get picked up and rocked, held, cuddled and you name it with whines and cries when necessary.  This will make for a long flight home and bit of deprogramming.  He is very cute though especially manipulating these nice ladies (at least 1 of his parents thinks so)…

If you’ve read this far, thanks for enduring my own War and Peace!

Kyle