Our Grandson Gannon Sings

This morning at 9 am, Anne and I joined our son Kevin to watch his little 4 year old son Gannon sing in a pre-school choir recital that included about 60 other children, roughly ages 3 - 5. What a joy it was.

I seek my oneness with all of mankind, judging no-one's religious beliefs. But the pre-school is that of The Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, a pre-school that was chosen by Kevin and his wife Melody because it is considered one of the best pre-schools in the area. And on the tight budget of a hard working police officer, they invested their money so that Gannon and a few years ago, his big brother Brody, now 6, could receive a quality pre-school education.

But when I heard these small children sing some songs about Jesus, under my breath, I thoughtlessly muttered, "They're indoctrinating them even at this age."

It was not my intent to offend anyone, but Anne and Kevin were both displeased by my comment, but Kevin out of respect for my feelings, simply explained why they chose that pre-school and took our conversation no further, even though later I broached it on two separate occasions. He remained as courteous as can be and in control of himself as he chose not to discuss it with me at a time he would speak in anger.

What concerned me with the church indoctrination is that these children are so young, trusting and impressionable, which of course is why the church is anxious to indoctrinate them. But I believe children need time to mature and become more analytical before having church dogma instilled in them.

But I should remember the parents are aware of the church's approach to instilling dogma, which is commonly done among many religious organizations, and that they choose for their children to participate. No-one asked me what I thought of it and under these circumstances, I should have been like my son Kevin and had better self-control, and not uttered a word.

5/6/12

Last night, Kevin called me and we spoke at length and I learned a great deal from that conversation, one he conducted warmly, as he made some crucial points.

During the recital, I spoke with and had been a good listener for a young couple sitting next to me. Several months ago, they had moved with their two tiny daughters, 2,000 miles to the Los Angeles area for an excellent job opportunity for him.

But this move separated them from their families and for 10 -15 minutes yesterday, while their 3 1/2 year old daughter was also singing in that recital, they shared some thoughts with me, almost as if I was a surrogate father.

I found out later from Kevin, my conversation with this young couple distracted Kevin as he listened to Gannon sing. As I thought about it overnight, my conversation likely distracted this couple as well from listening to their little girl, and if I had it to do over, no such conversation would have taken place.

But worst of all, my thoughtless muttered criticism of the church teaching dogma to small children in effect said to Kevin and de-facto, Melody, that they were using poor judgement in sending their children there for pre-school.

Kevin explained that they were aware of the church's approach, but that those teachings would be the beginning of a long-term dialogue with their boys on a wide array of religious topics. 

During the conversation we spoke of when Anne and I were married in a church in 1965, it was considered a "mixed-marriage" as she was Christian and I was Jewish and synagogues and most churches would not have conducted our marriage ceremony.

But Anne found the church of her dreams would, and the minister was willing to alter the wording of the ceremony to accommodate my concerns. But we married in a church and in front of a large cross, and among the attendees was my Aunt Zena, the 79 year old matriarch of our family.

Aunt Zena loved Anne and me and she proudly attended. And unlike me yesterday, she never said a word about being in a church, but instead joyously helped us celebrate a happy occasion. My heart now aches for what I said in the Lutheran church yesterday, but in life, there are no do-overs.

Sometimes I'm amazed at my insensitivity, an insensitivity at the age of 67 I wish I had outgrown. But the good news is that I have learned from yesterday's experience, thanks to a wise teacher in Kevin, and will not repeat those mistakes again. This is one of the benefits of living as long as I have.

Dick