Yesterday (7/17/13) our neighbor visited their home for perhaps the last time as the movers had packed their possessions as they prepared to move to Seattle. In the 2 1/2 years they had been our neighbor, this couple in their 40s and their two boys, now about 8 and 10 were a joy to us.
The wife would often greet me with a big hug, excited to see me and the boys were enthusiastic and ready to engage with me. The husband was sometimes gone because of his business travels but I had to some extent gotten to know him as well and enjoyed his company.
A few weeks ago, I cordially approached the husband about removing a large eucalyptus tree because some of its branches overhang our home posing a significant threat, should one of those branches fall and land on our home.
Neither he nor I knew for sure where the property line is and therefore whose tree it is. If it is my tree I would take it down and if it is his tree I proposed sharing the cost to remove it. He seemed amenable but somehow we never took action.
He always had some reason such as speaking with his wife or his real estate agent who had the house listed for sale, speaking to the city to check the boundaries or hiring a surveyor to measure the boundaries.
With hindsight, I should have paid to have the tree removed regardless of boundaries for I came to believe the real problem was he didn't want to pay any costs and he was buying time until his house sold.
Recently I found out his house is in escrow and that he did not inform the buyer about the tree and therefore the escrow instructions make no reference to it. He told me this happened because he "forgot" and later told me this happened because he is "stupid."
I believe it happened because he is anxious to get the house sold and wanted no complications thus leaving it to his buyer to find out about the tree after escrow closes and our neighbor and his family are relocated to Seattle.
In any case, he told me he would hire a surveyor to locate the boundary but that surveyor could not start for "20 days." The surveyor was unnamed and my neighbor couldn't explain why it would take 20 days to start.
So today I spoke with the city, which referred me to the Homes Association, who said they had the plans and would be happy to help us locate our boundaries if we will come to their office. At my request, they also gave me the names and phone numbers of three local surveyors should we still for some reason need their services.
I left a message to that effect with their real estate agent, asking her to contact our neighbor so we can meet at the Homes Association office.
But what is most troubling to me: Yesterday when I came by as the movers were finishing, the wife for the first time ever was formal with me saying, "Hello Mr. Kazan," and nothing more. No hugs, no smiles, nothing. The two boys were next to her and they just looked at me, no cheerfulness in their eyes or faces. It was awkward and sad given how well we had always gotten along together.
At that moment, my heart broke and inside I shed a tear. People come and go from our lives all the time but this was no way for neighbors to say goodbye.
I'm sorry I didn't just pay for the tree removal at the outset for I never wanted anything but the warmest of goodbyes with these lovely people. And despite what happened, in my eyes it does nothing to negate the fine relationship we had for 2 1/2 years.
Even as I write this, my heart aches and I hope for their happiness and well-being in their new home.
Dick
7/19/13 Later in the day on 7/18, the husband came to our door and assured Anne that as a part of the escrow, early next week the title company would take measurements and we would therefore know the boundaries and to whom the tree belonged. He left his new telephone number as well.
Also his real estate agent called and told Anne she would follow it through. I was pleased to hear all of this news. This tree experience has been a good lesson in remaining in control of one's emotions, not being judgmental and to keeping everything in proper perspective.
I did not consistently succeed, especially in the judgmental aspect and need to improve considerably.
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